Have you ever seen the movie Blind Date with Kim Bassinger and Bruce Willis? It’s from 1987, so I’m showing my age here. [If you haven’t, the quick version is that Kim Bassinger’s character is a total nut when she drinks and causes all kinds of trouble for her blind date, Bruce W.]
Well, my husband says I’m just like Kim Bassinger on alcohol. I’m pretty small and I have a low tolerance for alcohol. Add to that my current eating/sugar restrictions due to an auto-immune condition, and that means one drink=Wild Renee.
Okay, I have never danced on a bar table naked or anything. But when I look back, all my “firsts” sexually have been alcohol assisted. I guess the truth is that I can be a goody-too-shoes normally. I’m not a rule breaker. I’m a pleaser (hence the submissive part, right?). So, I guess that means I have a lot of inhibitions that need freeing.
The first blowjob I gave was definitely alcohol inspired. First threesome. The hottest sex I’ve had with another woman (btw, it was with that employee that my husband spanked – see my previous post on that).
I remember times we’d come home from the bar so crazy to get into bed that the next morning I’d find the keys still hanging in the door and a trail of clothing leading to the bedroom. (Obviously, all this was pre-children.)
My husband reminded me recently of the first time he ever spanked me. It was years ago– I’m not sure how many– more than ten, for sure. It was new year’s eve and we rented a room in a hotel. There was champagne and chambord involved, if I remember right (very tasty together– like a grape soda 🙂 ). I remember being out of my mind with the pleasure of it. He took a long, long time spanking me. He was listening closely, paying attention. Backing off when it became too intense for me, then starting in again. Saying all the right things to turn me on. It went on for hours. And by the time he was done, it became another first– the first time I enjoyed anal sex. He recalls that the next day I told him that it had been “magical”.
The funny thing is that we didn’t repeat it again until now. I think it’s because it was so magical for me that it scared me a bit. The loss of control– the full submission– I don’t know. And because if alcohol got me there, it wasn’t fully part of my real life.
My husband thinks it’s just that life got in the way. We were busy. We had children, etc.
This weekend, if all goes as planned, we will have the first night to ourselves in I don’t know how many years. Five, maybe. I’ve arranged a sleepover for the kids (please send good energy toward my youngest being okay for his first night sleeping away from one of us).
I’m planning on getting spanked thoroughly. And this time, I’d like to find that place without the alcohol. I’d like to embrace this side of myself and not stuff it back away in the inhibition box. I’m looking forward to connecting with my husband in the most intimate of ways, and remembering all the details afterwards. Or if I don’t remember them, well, then it will just be because I was so blissed out. 🙂